girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
