Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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