Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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