i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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