i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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