Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
