Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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