I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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