The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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