I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
