you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
