Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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