You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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