mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize