butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
