My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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