Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
