You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
