i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
