I love black thongs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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