I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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