i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
