He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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