Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
