So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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