i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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