ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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