i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
