You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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