Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
