I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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