Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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