You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
