she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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