Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
