Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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