ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
