end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im six kinds of drunk right now
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well I just put wine in my tea
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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