Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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