so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
