Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize