dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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