the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
