i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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