When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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