woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
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