Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
