She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I want her autograph on my taint
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
