Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
