Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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