im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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