Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Do plants get herpes?
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