The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Randomize
