btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Who died my cat blue again?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
