dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
