i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
