I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
