I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
