She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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