We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
