I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize